Elimination Communication...hmmm...

Most people really do not understand what these two words put together means...and until yesterday I didnt fully understand them either. It's definately a unique choice of words. Diaper Free definately does it much more justice. Or Natural Infant Hygiene. I like that one too.
When I asked a friend today if she knew what it was she responded" For Problems? You eliminate them by talking them out?" LMAO this made a lot of sense lol.
But actually this set of words is communicating with your infant/toddler how to eliminate their waste out of their body and into a toilet/bowl/outside. Quite fascinating actually.
So I did some reading on it yesterday trying to understand why in the world women would push their babies from BIRTH?!?! Well much to my surprise the one forcing her child would be me! I forced my poor infant to poo on himself! UGH if someone told me to pee in my pants and wait an hour or even 5 minutes I would tell them they were absolutely insane. So why then is this acceptable for our precious newborn babies and/or toddlers?
Apparently the practice of non using diapers is completely normal in plenty other countries and now in many homes in america. Which now makes a TON of sense to me.
As I read the articles and blogs and forum posts on the topic my brain scanned all of my memories with my youngest, raymond. I noticed last week that when he poo's he crawls to me and cries until I figure out that he poo-ed and then I of course change him. So he does know what he is doing and he does know that it is gross. Not to mention he does not want that diaper back on him! He will lay still while I take the diaper off, clean him off, and fold the yucky diaper up. But the moment I start to put the clean diaper on he tries to roll over and run away. And I do NOT blame him! I would do the same thing if not worse if someone was doing this to me!
So I realized EC(elimination communication) is not about "potty training" early, its about LISTENING to your child. They are teaching us when they need to go so that we as parents can get them to the potty until they are able to do so themselves. You'd be amazed at how natural going potty to an infant is. I mean they do it right away lol and if given the chance between the potty and a diaper what would you choose? EXACTLY!
So I have decided to gently give my son opportunities to be diaper free. I started after nap time today, we did 20 minutes outside playing. Much to my surprise he did not have to pee this whole time. I put a cloth diaper on him when I went back inside and when I took him into the bathroom with me to help my older son, Raymond went pee in the CD...Well he screamed and cried and kicked. I believe he was mad because he had just spent 20 minutes dry and free and now he was stuck back in a pee pee diaper.
I then changed him immediately. The cry nearly broke my heart. I had to put a disposable on him as we were going to the store to pick up a few things.
Then after his evening nap, as soon as he woke up I took him outside again to let him play once again diaper free! He loved it! He spent 40 minutes this time. And still no pee. Then we had to help daddy find his running shorts so back into a diaper he went. I didnt feel him pee in it for nearly an hour after this. So he does not pee as constantly as I thought he did...VERY interesting.
I still have no idea as to any cues that he gives BEFORE eliminating his waste. But I do know the aftermath...tears...always tears. So Im pretty sure this is going to become a normal thing for us...diaper free! Oh how my hubbys wallet will enjoy this. Not to mention my darling son will be able to "hang loose".
How do I feel after a day of learning more about my sons body? I feel blessed. Blessed that God gives us other people to learn from. And blessed that he made our babies so intuitive and smart right from the beginning! They know momma daddy and siblings and how to suckle and now I am learning they can very easily learn how to go to the potty and NOT soil their clothes.
Check back frequently to read our journey!

Gentle Parenting

I've done a lot of thinking about parenting lately. We have learned a lot about how we parent differently since Raymond was born. There are a lot of things that just dont work for him or us or even Daven anymore. Since Raymond was born we were attached! I had a natural birth, breastfed right away, and held him as much as I could. Everyone told me this would lead to an overly dependent child. As the months went by I continued with our same routine. After his problems with dairy and soy. We had to stop breastfeeding :( which was hard for both of us. But we supplemented by much needed cuddling. He fussed and needed skin to skin contact here and there but was ok with it after a while. Now that he is crawling and cruising around everywhere he is less focused on mommy. OR so I think! lol As long as I am in the same room as him doing nothing but watching him play he is ok. If I go into the kitchen to grab a drink or make a sandwich or go to sew...He for sure spots me and follows after me whining lol. I try to gently redirect him so I can get SOMETHING done lol. But usually he ends up being held or sitting with me while I sort fabric or even sew lol...(dont try at home lol) But we have noticed he is NOT attached to his pacifier. He is not attached to a blanket or stuffed animal. He only needs his pacifier to fall asleep and sometimes not even then. Or when he is upset or gets hurt. But usually I can soothe him by holding him and kissing him. We have noticed he is starting to get attached to everyone in the house in his own little way. Daven is extremely important to him. He is always yelling for him! Always wanting to play with him. This is how mommy gets stuff accomplished in the house lol. Back to the gentle parenting. We do things that form our children to be good children who are well behaved but we do it on a much softer approach. Raymond is told NO very sternly but without yelling or smacking. No spanking in our house at all anymore. Daven is given corner time for 1 minute if he does not listen after 3 times. This helps him to stop and think about what he has done. Also helps mommy or daddy stop and calm down too. Raising children is stressful no matter what anyone says. BUT we do LOVE doing it. We love working our life around them, to a certain extent of course.
Like church, Daven did not like attending church at first. Didnt like having to be quiet. He is allowed two toys and to take his bible. Now after being "made" to go every week he has stopped fighting us to get ready for church. But now we are finding that Raymond is uneasy at church lol. So time to think of something to entertain him. We do NOT believe in sending them to the nursery or childrens church. And neither does our whole church. There are no nurseries or anything like that in our church. There is a glass cry room that is sound proof...and the service can be heard inside the room. We have only had to be in there a few times but it is very nice.
We do have problems with friends. Because we are rare in our circle of friends. We are 23 years old with two children and we dont drink and plan on having more children that we do NOT spank, yell at AND yes we hold them when they cry! AHHH shocking! lol So our friends do not understand that we would MUCH rather stay at home on friday night camping out in our living room watching Star Wars clone wars and eating popcorn than going out to the clubs.
Gentle parenting is so peaceful. Our lives are filled with joy and love. And it works for us. Hopefully we will start to rub off on our friends and family and they will too start to be more gentle and caring with their kids.

Letting Your Husband Be the Head of Your Household

Recently my hubby read, "More Than A Dad" by Scot Anderson, this book has really showed a lot to my hubby and ME. It really teaches men how to take up their role as a Father and the head of the household. If you are a wife you should read it as well, this well help you to step back and let your husband rise up to his God given position. Since he has read this we have talked about him taking over the bills. Not because of any error of mine but because he says I have enough to worry about. He needs to make sure his family is taken care of and taking care of the finances does just that. I was really upset at first, mostly because I enjoy doing it. OK dont get me wrong I hate the stress of it but I like numbers. But God kinda whispered to me to let go and let my husband rise up. My hubby wants to start doing a family night, biweekly dates for us, and a yearly vacation. He also wants to do little things for me and the kids that will have large results. There is a section in the book that basically says that if a man values his wife and sets aside time for just him and his wife that it will teach his male children how to properly treat a woman and also teach his female children to have high standards. We really really like this book and most of the ideas Scot has.
Now maybe some of you reading this are thinking "My husband? He is nowhere near ready to do this! He would freak if I told him to do these things!" Well ladies, first you should buy this book for your husband for fathers day. Begin praying for your husband to rise up to his position and for you to be able to patient and to allow him to take his position as head of your household. When you give your husband this book tell him if he is ready to be open minded to read the book. Tell him it has hilarious dad stories in it and you heard its a really good book for Dads. None of this is lying, just so you know. But leave the rest a mystery and let your hubby read it for himself. Continue to pray for your husband while he reads this book. You will be amazed at his excitement to change things in your family for the better. I truly believe God has blessed this book and I think all husbands/dads should read it. Wives also! It helps us to understand what it is our husbands want to change and why.
I really hope that God blesses your family through this book or even other means if necessary. Ladies I am in search of a book that will help us to back down and let our husbands be the God fearing Men they are destined to be. If you have any suggestions please let me know.