Thursday, June 4, 2009

Gentle Parenting

I've done a lot of thinking about parenting lately. We have learned a lot about how we parent differently since Raymond was born. There are a lot of things that just dont work for him or us or even Daven anymore. Since Raymond was born we were attached! I had a natural birth, breastfed right away, and held him as much as I could. Everyone told me this would lead to an overly dependent child. As the months went by I continued with our same routine. After his problems with dairy and soy. We had to stop breastfeeding :( which was hard for both of us. But we supplemented by much needed cuddling. He fussed and needed skin to skin contact here and there but was ok with it after a while. Now that he is crawling and cruising around everywhere he is less focused on mommy. OR so I think! lol As long as I am in the same room as him doing nothing but watching him play he is ok. If I go into the kitchen to grab a drink or make a sandwich or go to sew...He for sure spots me and follows after me whining lol. I try to gently redirect him so I can get SOMETHING done lol. But usually he ends up being held or sitting with me while I sort fabric or even sew lol...(dont try at home lol) But we have noticed he is NOT attached to his pacifier. He is not attached to a blanket or stuffed animal. He only needs his pacifier to fall asleep and sometimes not even then. Or when he is upset or gets hurt. But usually I can soothe him by holding him and kissing him. We have noticed he is starting to get attached to everyone in the house in his own little way. Daven is extremely important to him. He is always yelling for him! Always wanting to play with him. This is how mommy gets stuff accomplished in the house lol. Back to the gentle parenting. We do things that form our children to be good children who are well behaved but we do it on a much softer approach. Raymond is told NO very sternly but without yelling or smacking. No spanking in our house at all anymore. Daven is given corner time for 1 minute if he does not listen after 3 times. This helps him to stop and think about what he has done. Also helps mommy or daddy stop and calm down too. Raising children is stressful no matter what anyone says. BUT we do LOVE doing it. We love working our life around them, to a certain extent of course.
Like church, Daven did not like attending church at first. Didnt like having to be quiet. He is allowed two toys and to take his bible. Now after being "made" to go every week he has stopped fighting us to get ready for church. But now we are finding that Raymond is uneasy at church lol. So time to think of something to entertain him. We do NOT believe in sending them to the nursery or childrens church. And neither does our whole church. There are no nurseries or anything like that in our church. There is a glass cry room that is sound proof...and the service can be heard inside the room. We have only had to be in there a few times but it is very nice.
We do have problems with friends. Because we are rare in our circle of friends. We are 23 years old with two children and we dont drink and plan on having more children that we do NOT spank, yell at AND yes we hold them when they cry! AHHH shocking! lol So our friends do not understand that we would MUCH rather stay at home on friday night camping out in our living room watching Star Wars clone wars and eating popcorn than going out to the clubs.
Gentle parenting is so peaceful. Our lives are filled with joy and love. And it works for us. Hopefully we will start to rub off on our friends and family and they will too start to be more gentle and caring with their kids.

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